Queen of the slipstream

I’m back!  Camping was as brilliant as always.  Weather wasn’t too awful, although it’s the first time I’ve pitched a tent in sea fog.  There were 10 of us adults and three kids.  We did a bit of walking, a fair amount of drinking and lots of talking nonsense.  It was really relaxing, and always great to spend time with lots of my favourite people in a gorgeous place and have time time off work.

So that meant I only went to work for two days this week – Thursday and Friday – although they were both ridiculously long days. I had wondered if anything else would be missing from my desk, or whether my stolen pencil sharpener may have found its way home in my absence.  However nothing had changed.  CSG had been in the office at the end of last week while I was on leave, but was off himself for the week just gone.

I was so busy catching up with emails and going to meetings that I wouldn’t have had much time for him anyway, but I did miss our little daily chats.  I hadn’t heard from him since Thursday last week, and he doesn’t usually contact me much outside of the office.  So when my phone pinged on Friday lunchtime I was quite surprised that it was him messaging me.

Hello, he says.  How was your week without harassment from me? Clearly he wants me to miss him. Sweet.  We had a bit of a chat about what he’d been up to – he’d done a bit of the Shaun the Sheep trail and had found the one near Buckingham Palace that’s dressed in a crown and cape. I quipped that Shaun ought to know that I’m queen.  In answer he sent me this:


saying he thought it was apt. I was quite touched.

I mentioned my princess role model, if I had to choose, would be Princess Leia from Star Wars as she’s pretty feisty.  He then sent me a picture of a somewhat drunk looking Leia.

Cheeky git.  He later backtracked and said I was a lush not a drunk. And at 5pm he sent me a picture of glass of wine as it was “wine o’clock”.  Only one glass though, not one for each of us.  Such a charmer….

It was good to hear from him regardless; I guess it shows he does think about me outside of work.  Let’s see what happens on Monday!

You little thief 

I knew this day would come. CSG has swiped my beloved bleistiftspitzmaschine, the swine.  That’s a pencil sharpener in case you’re new to the blog [follow the link if you want to see a picture].  It’s a particularly lovely 1970s mechanical one that I rescued.  It sits on my desk and makes me smile when it catches my eye. 

He appeared this morning and I knew he’d been up to something. He commented on how tidy my desk was and then walked off smirking. I then realised it had been nabbed. I shall have to come up with something to get him back.  Suggestions gratefully received!

I’m not in the office now for a week [I’m off to the seaside for a spot of camping] so will have to ponder on it. Mind you, they do say revenge is a dish best served cold!

Wednesday morning, 3am

CSG has upped his game again over the last few days.  I get daily visits to update me on the state of his phalanges – swelling is reducing and movement is returning for anyone who’s interested!

Thursday last week was the general election and my day was crazy, with very little time for anything but work.  Friday was somewhat less frenetic, and so I actually got some time for a lunch break, which is something of a novelty at the moment.  I work above a library, and really like books, so decided to have a nose around over lunch.

I was heading back out when suddenly CSG appeared and clearly wanted a chat.  He was calling me a “library geek” – such a charmer – and had already tried to call me on my mobile to tell me that as well.  I have my phone on silent at work, so hadn’t noticed him calling.  I’m not entirely sure how he knew I was browsing the shelves though.

We had a chat about nothing much in particular – and I was looking at the badges that attach by velcro to his army-issue camouflage jacket, and resisting the urge to pull them off.  One is his blood-type and the other said “NKA”  which wasn’t an acronym I was familiar with.  He wouldn’t tell me what it stood for and said I’d earn points by getting it right – or finding something suitably entertaining to fit.

I spent a short time that afternoon sending suggestions for it, before confirming I’d worked out it meant “no known allergies”.  I scored 10 points for my suggestions, but then he deducted 12 for my being a “smart arse” and getting it right.  Not that he’s competitive or anything….

Not much weekend contact, but this week so far I’ve had several visits each day.  Apart from phalange updates, he’s also been venting his frustrations about parts of his role, which can be a tad awkward for me as  I know more about some of the things that are impacting on him than I can admit.  He’s also was keen to tell me that he’d bought a new tie.  I haven’t spotted it yet – I think he’s worked out I prefer to see him suited up though!

I also realised today that he’s pinched something else off my desk. Let’s see if he’s a bit more creative this time after the slight disappointment of the spoon-gate denouement.  He also muttered about arranging a drink – the job he’s applying for closes on Sunday so that may have something to do with it.   I shall let you know!

Meet Regina Phalange

regina phalangeI saw a friend at the weekend who scolded me for not updating my blog recently, so I thought I’d better oblige.  Nice to know someone is reading!

My last CSG-related post mentioned the leaving do for a colleague we were due to be attending.  I didn’t manage to keep my wits about me and actually got quite drunk.  Oops.  I blame the disgusting jagerbomb that CSG made me drink.  The copious amounts of red wine and vodka (and sourz shots) either side of it had no bearing on my level of sobriety or how rubbish I felt the next day…

Clearly CSG attended and he seemed to be working the room, which was interesting to observe.  He disappeared for while with a male friend,but made sure I knew he’d be back a little later.  While he was gone, a number of people made comments to me about the amount of attention he pays me in the office, which was entertaining and worrying in equal measure.  I also found out about bits of his history – which I didn’t necessarily need to know – particularly as it turns out he’s had some kind of interaction with at least two of my staff, one of whom is half my age.  Hmmm.  I realise everyone has history, but after you get through school/uni past relationships aren’t generally so close to home.

He left before me, and we had a strange drunken text exchange that evening, that carried on across the weekend (the messages, not the drinking!).  We seem to talk on two levels – “business” communication in the office and then a second level of conversation via text and WhatsApp that goes on at the same time.  It feels a bit subversive – which I know is ridiculous – particularly when he references in conversation something we’ve texted to each other or sent a picture about.

More desk-based japes occurred last week, with him swapping out my keyboard one morning for hideous clunky yellow-keyed thing.  Strangely I noticed pretty quickly!  He also went off and did some really tedious jobs for me which was sweet of him.  And yet….  we’re still no further forward.

Our first “date” was arranged on the flimsy excuse that he wanted to discuss a job vacancy with me.  That role has been readvertised and he’s been advised to reapply.  He did mention to me that he wanted to talk to me about it again, so maybe that will finally end up being our second date.  I know I over-analyse everything but this does make me question his motives/intentions and wonder if he’s just playing me while I’m useful.  But then I think he’s putting in a lot of effort for very little potential return.  I will admit I am somewhat confused.

I didn’t see or hear from him on Friday, nor yesterday (and Monday was a public holiday here) so thought perhaps I’d fallen out of favour.  I deliberately didn’t message him over the weekend to see if he would get in touch first (juvenile, I know).  It was quite strange not having had any contact for almost a week.

However, good things come to them that wait and he messaged me first thing this morning to check whether I was in .  He also said he’d been looking for me yesterday and couldn’t find me. Awww, sweet.  He then came by to see me and to catch up.  He was feeling sorry for himself as he’d come off his bike on Friday and hurt his hand (and his ego, more to the point) – as a typical bloke he hasn’t been to get it checked out.  His thumb is quite badly swollen, but he can move it okay so I don’t think he’s done any lasting damage.

I was googling how to tell if you’ve broken your thumb and discovered that there are two bones in your thumb called phalanges.  What a great word!  It sounds vaguely rude as well, which is a bonus.  I’ve been asking CSG how his phalanges are ever since.

There was also something in the dark recesses of my brain that remembered that, in a few episodes of Friends, Phoebe had an alter-ego called Regina Phalange.   I did mention to CSG that although phalange was now officially one of my favourite words I wasn’t going as far as to change my name, a la Phoebe.  Which he found hilarious.  I do like that he gets my cultural references (most of the time) and doesn’t think I’m a total nut job.

Phoebe once changed her name in the show to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock – not so sure I’ll be able to shoe horn that one into conversation though.  I may have to try….

Saturday night’s all right

Realised I hadn’t posted for a while so thought I’d better rectify that.  Last weekend a chap I met about 5 years ago, and dated for a little while, got in touch.  I have heard from him once or twice a year via Facebook since we were together, but hadn’t seen him for two or three years.  It didn’t work out with us because he didn’t like the distance – he lives about 35 miles away – and I found he was a bit too negative for me at the time.  He had a few unresolved issues relating from his marriage break up (a year or so before we first met) and had moved out of the family home to stay with his father.  All in all, it just wasn’t the right time for us.

He’s a nice chap and good company so I’m always happy to chat when he appears on on messenger.  Historically I have been a little suspicious of his intentions and have had the feeling that he thinks of me a booty-call/friend-with-benefits.  When challenged on that he tends to disappear for a few months.   He normally talks a good date, so when he messaged me last Sunday I was just expecting his usual flirtations, talk of meeting up, and then nothing.   However he offered to pick me up that evening and take me out for a drink.  As I had nothing else planned – and I didn’t have to drive – I was more than happy to agree.

He’s always liked a flash car, but when he turned up in his Jaguar XK I was quite impressed (shallow, moi?).  We went out to a pub in the country and had a couple of drinks and a catch up.  He seemed a lot more upbeat and positive, which was really good to see, and we had a really easy conversation.  He’s an inveterate flirt, and a bit bitchy, so we get on well.  He dropped me home and came in for a while so we cuddled up on the sofa to watch a bit of TV before he headed home.  I did give him a good night kiss, though.

I heard from him a couple of times during the week (he had a week off work) and then he invited himself over on Saturday evening.  He turned up with a lovely bottle of wine, and charmed the cat (quite an achievement; last time I had a date over the cat sat and hissed at him all evening and I never saw him again).  Turns out he was hoping for a little more than a kiss and cuddle on the sofa, so I’m not expecting to see him again anytime soon.  My suspicions were right, it would seem.

Since spoon-gate CSG has reverted to paying me his usual ninja-style attentions.  Today he stopped by a couple of times to talk about the weekend and then other issues he’s got with work. I like that he trusts me enough to do that.  He does keep threatening to remove the wheels from my office chair though – but his plans have been thwarted as there are always people near my desk (one of the benefits of running a 24/7 service).  Not sure what that is all about! More attention seeking, perhaps.

One of my managers is leaving next week and he’s having his leaving drinks this Friday.  CSG is very keen that I attend – I was going to anyway as the chap leaving is one of my direct reports.  As we are meant to be adhering to “fight club rules” it could be an interesting evening – I’d better not drink too much and try to keep my wits about me.  Sounds like a challenge!

Stirring it

In my pen pot at work I have a wooden spoon.  It has a face drawn on one side and the word “loser’ on the other [it was a prize for coming last in a quiz].  I realise this isn’t usual, and it generates quite a lot of conversation when people first see it.

Mid-morning I had an email come through from one of our printers in the building, and it was a scan of my wooden spoon – at which point I realised it was missing.

Checking up on the printer, I saw it was on the floor where CSG sits, and a few things fell into place – including the lack of my morning visit, and the smirking looks he’d been sending my way.  He had been seen hanging around first thing this morning so must have swiped it then.

He denied all knowledge despite some fairly fierce interrogation, even sending me a policy for the proper care of wooden implements in the office.  Then at the end of the day he appeared with it claiming it had been handed in to lost property.  Shame as I was hoping there’d have to be some kind of ransom payable for it’s return….

I know it all sounds really juvenile, but it really made me laugh and brightened up a fairly dull day.  My friend reckons he’s definitely trying to attract my attention.  Well he’s succeeded – let’s see what he does with it next!

Pictures of you?

It’s been a bit of strange week – seemed really long, despite only being a four-day one thanks to Easter Monday.

Lots of flirty behaviour from CSG, and not all of it particularly discreet.  He’s started to stop by every morning just to say hello & see if there’s anything I need him to assist with that day – which is really sweet.  He is still doing the whole ninja thing, although I’m getting better at realising he’s there.

action man beardHe shaved his head again over the weekend (boo!) but hadn’t been shaving his chin, so by the end of this week his hair and his stubble were about the same length.  I’d been teasing him about it – and sent him this picture of a bearded action man this afternoon.  He loved it and then proceeded to send me a number of selfies of him with different beards and hair styles.  They were all pretty terrifying – particularly the one where he looks like Travis Bickle’s psychotic brother…

I’m a little confused/frustrated about what actually is going on – despite his protestations that we will go out again, he doesn’t seem in any hurry to arrange it.  He has family commitments again this weekend, but he’s definitely ramped up the depth of contact.  I have decided that I’m going to chill out about it and leave it to him.  If it’s going to happen it will, and if it doesn’t well, c’est la vie.  I’m used to playing a long game; I would just like it if I actually got some pay off for his one.  We shall see.