I had a date tonight. We ate cheese, drank wine, laughed, and talked a lot. Will I see him again? I doubt it. He’s a lovely guy and on paper he’s pretty much the perfect match. But… Chemistry. That elusive spark. Not there.
Sometimes I think I’m single because my expectations are too high. Sometimes I think they aren’t high enough. I want a soulmate. Someone who champions me, believes in me, loves me unconditionally and can tell me to rein it in. I know they exist; several close friends have found theirs. There’s always hope.
What I don’t want is someone with so much emotional baggage that we can’t carry it between us. Someone so involved in their own drama that they can’t see anything else.
I ran into an ex and his current girlfriend last week at a party. Those who knew we’d dated were being all over-dramatic about it, waiting (hoping?) for fireworks. We disappointed them; had a hug and a quick catch up then moved on. I thought it was entertaining and was pleased to see him happy. She seems a challenge, but I liked her. It reminded me of why we didn’t work out and reaffirmed that not “settling” is the best road for me.
I know what I don’t want. I sometimes think I know who I want, but then talk myself out of it. What I do know is hope springs eternal. And, to quote Nina Simone, this old world is a new world and a bold world; I’m feeling good.